Studio 338
Sankey's 25th Birthday
338 Boord Street, Greenwich, SE10 0PF
£10-£30
Sankey's is a nightclub franchise, famous for their go-big-or-go-home house parties originating in Manchester, and now with two further venues in Ibiza and New York. In aid of turning 25, Sankey's decided to do a tour of other clubs all around the UK, the London stop being in Studio 338 in Greenwich (a place I'd only heard of due to the big fire there in 2016.) Now, Sankey's wouldn't have been my usual choice by any stretch, but it's important to try new things and get out of the norm. Whats more, I love Greenwich in the daytime so why not try it out at night? Particularly when what seems like AGES away turns out to only be a 30 minute ride on the night tube home.
Upon arrival, you soon realise that the venue is housed in that weird, barren, no-mans-land near the O2 arena. The kind of place that only really gets busy before and after a Justin Bieber concert. The queue at first appeared to be really long, but once past the three (yes, three) security checks we were in within 15 minutes. Heads up on the strictness though - they confiscate chewing gum and had a big issue with my rescue remedy (claustrophobia occasionally breeds panic), which hasn't ever happened in a club search before. Boys and girls queues are separated, and due to the fact the night was a heavy sausage fest, it did take the chaps a while longer to get in after us.
Once inside, I made a beeline for the bar, however, realised within the first 90 seconds that my purse was gone. Nope, I hadn't dropped it, it hadn't fallen out of my bag, and it wasn't with any of my mates... someone had genuinely gone into my bag whilst I was battling through the crowds for an overpriced pint and nicked my wallet. Balls. I mean - you can imagine that the first impression of a club is instantly ruined when you can't even buy a bev to null the pain, and then have to spend the first half an hour of your night on the phone to Barclays, whilst getting notifications that the bastards are getting numerous bar tabs on your contactless. Two cards cancelled, 40 quid cash down the drain and an angry rant later I decided that there was no point letting it ruin the night, especially considering we'd paid £30 for the ticket alone...
The venue itself is huge, with a massive main stage area complete with bar, then a backroom and another bar, and an upstairs which closed around 2am. There were three different bogs to choose from, all of which stayed remarkably clean throughout the night, and an AstroTurf smoking area, which was also huge and sweetly decorated with fairy lights (and the occasional pile of vomit). Heads up No.2: drinks are EXPENSIVE here, as you'd expect from a 'superclub', but I'm talking £3.50 for a BOTTLE OF WATER and £8 upwards for a pint of beer. Truly gobsmacking, if you ask me.
I've come to accept the fact that I'm not a massive fan of Techno, however, thought that I could get away with a whole night of house music. Turns out that was even more painful. I genuinely couldn't say I noticed a change in the beat once all night, despite there being a handful of different acts playing. Therefore, the same average two-step was the soundtrack of the evening, which isn't exactly the remedy for lifting your spirits. The crowd were equally indistinguishable, my surroundings awash with the same body-con dress in a rainbow of different colours, and topless guys posing. There was also an unholy amount of people wearing shades... as if anyone really cares what you look like mate, seriously.
As you can probably tell by now, my first superclub experience was on the whole, anything but super. The 7 of us were a good crowd, and I did actually manage to enjoy the evening by the end, but will hands down never be going back to Studio 338. Someone needs to tell these guys that water is a human right and instead of confiscating herbal remedies you can buy in Holland and Barrett, they should think about a sunglasses ban instead.
OVERALL RATING: ** (purely for the clean loos and fairy lights)
https://www.studio338.co.uk/
