Phonox
Horsemeat Disco All Night Long
10 FEBRUARY 2017
£4.99 (earlybird)
Having seen that Horsemeat Disco tickets for the Jazz Cafe in January had sold out, I immediately tried looking for more events they were playing at early this year. On RA I found Horsemeat at Phonox, playing all night long, and tickets starting at £4.99 - it couldn't have been more perfect.
Phonox is a short trip into Brixton from Clapham and with the tickets starting of at such a reasonable price it was set to be a good night. I'd seen Horsemeat twice before: once on the closing night of Sheffield's Tramlines festival back in 2015 and again at Bestival that same summer. Both times they were great - funky, unpretentious fun.
I'd been to the venue Phonox when it went by it's previous name of Plan B, and I remember thinking that it was quite similar to the very commercial clubs I had back in Sheffield. A singular dark room, with a stage area and a bar along one side, with a padded bar downstairs and a small and concrete smoking area out the back door. At Phonox's grand opening it was immediately shut down due to overcrowding and health and safety regulations, making me think that there must be something more special about this new and improved version.
Unfortunately not. The que outside didn't take long at all, so I won't complain about that, however the que for the cloakroom went all the way up the stairs and out into the dance floor area. Now I'm not the type to put anything in the cloakroom (not saying that negatively, I'm just too lazy), but even pushing past all these people to go for a wee was a struggle. The dance floor wasn't much better... considering that I hadn't seen the event advertised anywhere on facebook right up until a few days before it was quite surprising at how much Phonox has oversold on tickets. There was no space to boogie, and trust me Horsemeat Disco aren't the kind of DJ's which you two step shuffle to - this is not House Music. It's Disco music, and Disco means DANCE.
The drinks prices weren't bad - £5 for a single mixer and coke, £3 for a shot - pretty standard. However, the thing which did get to me was the fact you had to que to go for a ciggie. Due to noise complaints, I'm guessing, the doors out to the smoking area have to be airlocked - which makes you end up feeling like a naughty school kid queing for the next go on the big ride at the funfair.
The crowd was fine, no real dickhead but a lot of annoying people falling into you, lots of strangers sucking face for the first time and lots of jagermeister - I could have been back in freshers week at the Student Union. Horsemeat didn't particularly save the night either, they didn't play the usual set of disco funky fabulousness - instead rolled on some background disco noise which eventually became a bit monotonous.
Luckily I was with a great group of pals this evening, I therefore had a really good night at a terribly average venue. Conclusion: I'll take those lot out again, but won't be in any hurry to return to Phonox.
OVERALL RATING: **
http://phonox.co.uk/
